WARNING: This page contains graphic material, that if you’re a wussy, you won’t want to see. Now you have to look, to prove you’re not a wussy. PROCEED.
As you’ve probably realized over the time spent reading most of my articles, I am easily amazed. Like, easily. Which is fine. It makes for a much more eventful existence. But one thing I quite literally am never able to get over are near-death experiences. Not my own because I’ve never had any (garshdarnit and thank God), but ones I read about in the news. You know, those pictures of crazy awful things that happen to someone and yet, there they stand alive and well.
Well I read about one this morning that just got me thinking to all the stories I’ve ever remembered hearing over the years and I thought today would be a good day to re-live them a bit. Sorry if you are squeamish, I don’t think anything will too be bad, or something you haven’t seen before :)
So the one this morning was about a police officer that survived being shot in the face just recently. Crazy. See below for more amazing close calls..
10. (is this a countdown now? idk) A Brazilian man survives shooting himself with a fishing spear to the face. After setting up his shot, the spear ricocheted off rocks and pop, smack into his face. Talk about bad luck. Or rather, good luck considering he survived the entire thing. Above the eye entrance and the only thing affected is his smell. Awesome close call.
9. Another shot in the head story, more widely known, Mrs. Gabrielle Giffords. Shot point blank during a little town hall, meet and greet sort of deal, Giffords not only survived but managed to make it to a few political events before leaving to focus on full recovery.
8. A Virginia kid survives being impaled by a bamboo stick through the neck. He was too busy playing ninja to realize that jumping around with a pointy object near your face was probably a bad idea. Get ready, this picture sucks:
7. My greatest fear. Realized. By someone else…a man gets in a car fight with a fence and the fence won. He not only totaled his car (i just made that up) but was impaled though the mouth and neck by a metal rod. Fell asleep at the wheel after entering a food coma, and now had to re-learn how to eat and drink. “It’s difficult” he says. Yeah, difficult to believe he even survived.
6. Charla Nash. That should be about it. You know, woman who was attacked by a chimp. That link will show you her progress after extensive, extensive surgery. Below though, is what it looked like before much of it. This one…is hard to look at I won’t lie to you.
5. Talk about a crappy friend. A schoolkid actually survives being shot in the eye by an arrow shot by his buddy. The only thing that stopped the arrow from swooshing on through…the back of his skull. How hard was this kid shooting this thing?! The funny thing? The buddy that shot it is being treated for shock. Crappy friend, close call.
4. Shaun Mills. Super, duper close call. Gets off a bus and hit head on by a car and thrown under the bus he just exited. The driver wasn’t charged, idk regular bus rules so maybe the driver didn’t need to stop, but you can’t watch the following clip without being in awe.
3. Here I am, just a man alone with his thoughts. And a smartphone. And…struck by lightning! twice! Yep, this gentleman had the unfortunate fortune of being struck by lightning. Which is crazy enough to begin with, but then a second time within a minute during his lovely stroll. At least this is a close call you can brag about. One in like what, 80 billion?
2. There are many reasons why I feel I shouldn’t have to do home improvement. I mean, I can spackle a hole and lay tile like any real person should, but I would just…rather not. Today I got another reason I shouldn’t even try it: near-death by nail gun. This kid was helping “frame a barn” (whatever that is) when his finger accidentally hit the trigger and a 3-inch nail popped right up into his heart. His chest got opened up so fast that they left quite a scar. He’s fine, but I’m pretty sure that story scored him some points with the ladies…
1. Because I have a slight obsession with all things head, the last one to top you off is going to be one of my faves. 15 year old boy survives knife attack to the head by another kid. First of all, what on Earth do you have to be so mad about? You’re a kid. Second, how much does that even suck to have a knife sticking straight up out of your head. We’re not talking some butter knife here. We are talking from the forehead past the eye socket. You know, real hardcore knivery. Enjoy:
Outkast….Bombs over Baghdad